Jokes, Insults and Toasts

 Laughter is Good Medicine

NEW YORK

On extended vacation in Canada a New Yorker went into a hardware store and asked for a chain saw that would cut down six trees in an hour.

The sales assistant showed him a top of the range model and the New Yorker  was so impressed with it he bought it. The following day he returned to the shop and complained that it had taken him one day to cut down one tree. To find out what the problem was, the sales assistant took the chain saw and started it up. The New Yorker said: "What is that noise?"

BIRTH

A man took his wife to the hospital to give birth. There the doctor revealed that he had developed an experimental machine, which could take some of the pain of childbirth from the mother and give it to the father instead. He asked the couple whether they are interested in giving it a try, and they agreed. Since the machine was largely untested, the doctor thought it wise to start at the lowest setting. He strapped the man down, switched on the machine and asked him whether he could feel any pain.
"No I feel fine" So the doctor turned the machine on to a slightlty higher setting. Again the man reported feeling no discomfort. And all the while the wife was going through pain free childbirth.
Greatly encouraged the doctor turned the machine to its highest setting. Still the man felt no pain.
"This is truly amazing" said the doctor excitedly. "A veritable break through in childbirth."
After his wife had given birth, the husband climed off the machine and calmly drove home. There he found the mailman dead on his door step.

LINKS TO OTHER JOKES

The Jokes on You
Completed and Finished
Lone Range on Tonto